Cutting Ties

Not everyone around you is meant to follow you on your journey. People come and they go. We grow up, we grow out, we evolve. At some point all of us will have to cut the dead weeds and allow new life to spring up around us.

Know when to cut those ties. Holding on to dead weight will HOLD YOU UP!!
Cut your ties, cut your loses, wish a person the best and move on with your journey
No love lost, but if a person isn’t showing growth they will only stump yours!

it’s no comparison

Often time’s we get caught up in what we perceive beauty to be. You see the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face, perfect teeth and automatically believe that person has it all.
How many of us have met people with all of this and as soon as they open their mouth up to speak you are turned off?
An ugly inside makes a stinky outside. Each of us are uniquely different and spectacular in our own way.
Stop comparing your inside to someone’s outside, it doesn’t match up.

Just wanted to say I appreciate you!

I have been blessed to have a tremendous amount of support from friends and family. However a ton of my support has come from people that I have never met, people who live near and far. Conversations started in Post Offices, in the laundromat, walking the dog or sitting in the nail salon. Conversations started with a smile and a “Good morning”. Inboxes from Authors whom I admire and who have answered all of my questions when I needed help. Inboxes from my classmates from College, HS, JHS and Elementary School, my Teachers (what an honor to receive a pat on the back from your HS English Teacher).

I appreciate the support. Those words always came in just when I needed them, normally when I was ready to throw in the towel. Someone will reach out and say “I love your stuff or you make me laugh”. I needed those words.

Appreciate You!

Perfectly Imperfect

I have always loved to read. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought that I would write books or blog for that matter. I enjoy curling up on the couch, folding the pages down,sniffing that “new book” scent and becoming absorbed in someone else’s fantasy. I have always been a chain reader. I read multiple novels at a time, all types of genres. I love it all, especially Urban Fiction and Erotica. Growing up, I sampled my first taste of steamy hot sex scenes by reading Jackie Collins novels. I was hooked and then Zane came along and completely blew my mind away. She was raw and uninhibited, NASTY… I LOVED HER!!! I still love her!

I started writing because I wanted to read about REAL life women, who are REAL life sizes. I got tired of reading the same ole, same ole. “Light skin, long hair, size 6, fat ass, small waist, no stomach”. Hell, can some of the other women who have guts and flat asses be shown some loving too? I wanted to see real life shit, with real life women, whom are flawed but perfectly imperfect. So I said “Eff it”, rolled up my sleeves and began to create my own stories.

I am a woman, I am a plus size woman, my body is not perfect, but it is mine. I make no apologies for being me. “I am NOT pretty for a big girl. I am pretty PERIOD”. Welcome to my world of candid,voluptuous,erotica.

My get up and go song

Every woman deserves to be looked at like she’s the apple of her man’s eye.

If he treats like you are anything less than a star, he isn’t for you.
Don’t settle. The only tears you should have are from mind blowing sex

Close to the edge, almost lost it all

I can recall once someone saying to me “You have very troubled spirit, it’s restless”. I was deeply embarrassed and ashamed because her words were all truth. So I put on a mask and hid. I hid until it overwhelmed me and then I faced it.

It was ugly it was nasty. I hated it, so I ran again. There were so many times when I wanted to give up. So many times I felt stupid for some of the choices that I had made in life. So many times that I was TOLD I was stupid for the choices that I made in my life. So many times that I had no concept of self worth or self love. I was just here, not really living, just existing.

If I did not have a kid I probably would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. I knew if I left him he would probably hate me for taking the easy way out. Not to mention it has been drilled in my head since a early age that suicide meant you would perish in hell.

So I did what most black folks normally find taboo, I found a therapist. Therapy saved my life. Deep and honest Prayer saved my life! Writing has saved my life! I still have my dark and dreary moments but writing and prayer has helped me. I am not some overly religious lunatic who points the finger yet rejects their own issues. I am not someone who knows it all. I was just honest enough to admit that I need some help IMMEDIATELY so I went out and found some.

The death of Robin Williams hits close to home for me. I admired him greatly and at 63 years old he was still a work in progress, as we all are. The dark days will come and go I must continue to share my feelings, continue to face my demons because facing them saves me. Sharing them will save someone else.

 

Reach out to someone if you need help, find someone to walk you back off the edge. It is impossible to do it alone..